I work as an assistant for the development team of a nonprofit. I’ve been in this role five years. My manager, Jane, who is far and away the most influential person in the organization, never praises me. Ever. She’s very good about addressing my mistakes and isn’t punitive in any way. But she never praises anything I do right. And when I do anything on my own initiative, she reacts with surprise and discomfort. The closest I’ve ever had to a compliment is “It wasn’t bad.
About two years ago, I used one of these evaluations to request a raise, citing the new skills, responsibilities, and initiatives I’d undertaken since I started. She took several weeks to get back to me on the question before explaining that I was already getting paid plenty.
How can I clearly communicate that the marked lack of positive feedback leaves me constantly stressed, nervous, uncertain, unwilling to take initiative, and straight up angry?From what you described, it does seem like Jane sees your work differently than you do. I know you’re looking for ways to talk to Jane about this, but I want to be up front: I think you should seriously consider leaving this job. For whatever reason, your boss doesn’t see your work the same way you do, and she’s had five years to change her mind. That’s a very tough situation to be in, and even if you succeed in getting her to toss you some occasional praise, you’ll still be working for someone who just doesn’t like your work very much.
“That’s what the money’s for!”
I don't know. I think even if my boss were a jerk I think I'd be pretty psyched to work someplace where everything below 4 feet was a line drawing and everything above it was French marble paper! That is awesome. Are you serious? Are they hiring?
AskAManager Leave!
Solid advice.
In professions generally feedback is almost universally criticism or - if you have a good supervisor - constructive criticism in mark-up. That’s how you learn. When I was junior a senior lawyer told me “it takes 10 years to know what you’re doing as a litigator” and he was right.
AskAManager Welcome to my world
:((
I don’t think asking for validation is a nice way to keep us moving forward.
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