Papa Roach singer Jacoby Shaddix performs during a private concert at the Cox Pavilion August 18, 2002 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Photo: Ethan Miller/Getty Images The below excerpt is from writer and comedian Tom Scharpling’s new memoir, It Never Ends: A Memoir With Nice Memories!, which is now available via Abrams Press.
There’s a special kind of magic in the air when you’re working at a place where everybody kinda knows the whole endeavor is a crock. The students aren’t remotely interested in learning trombone; they go through the motions only because their parents will buy them a new helicopter if they graduate seventh grade.
I remember Jim getting pushed to the brink of sanity by a particularly cheap guitar teacher. This guy would float around the store for hours staring at songbooks but never spending any money. The guy was clearly burning an empty afternoon and his constant presence was driving Jim crazy. “This is all I need today. Something wrong with that?” he said indignantly. Jim just looked at him. “You come in here for hours and this is all you buy? Just take the fucking picks and get out.”
I told him about how I had six ideas for six different projects and I was struggling with having too many amazing ideas. I just didn’t know what to do with the burden of my massive talent. At this point in my life I was working round the clock. My goal was to be some kind of writer, but I needed the safety net of the retail job to pay bills and to save up for a house. This meant that I would work full-time at the store, then head home and eat dinner, only to sit back down around 10:00 p.m.
However much I enjoyed working for Jim, managing at a music store just wasn’t the career I wanted. I wanted to write for a living. I knew I wasn’t where I was supposed to be, but I was having a hard time making a move. I suppose it’s in my upbringing; I come from a pretty cautious family that lives as if everything could end tomorrow. So while my actions can be moronically risky in some ways, I can also box myself in from making transitions that are long overdue.
Maron was onstage recounting a story that happened to him earlier that day. In the course of his story — I can’t remember what it was about — he tried to convey the gulf between one person he considered legitimate and another he marked as a no-talent fraud. To this day I still cannot believe it, but Marc literally said, “The difference between these two guys is like the difference between working at MTV and working at a music store.” The audience laughed.
scharpling why would anyone want to read about them? have you nothing else to write about? 🤦🏽♀️🖕
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