help your daughter make positive choices
, complete homework, and do her chores by focusing on building executive functioning skills—together. Follow these tips for collaboration: Set up a plan to meet once a week, at a designated time and place, for no more than 15 minutes. If she needs an incentive to do this, that’s OK. Find out what she wants , and attach it to participation in your meeting.
Ask her to list what she’s doing well this year at school, and what she’d like to manage better. Whatever she chooses is where you start. Brainstorm ideas and let her pick one strategy to try. Assess how it’s working in your next meeting. Start with small stuff and plan for possible setbacks. Say something like, “We’re going to try this and see how it goes. Nobody’s expecting perfection.” Notice her effort as she practices.
Tolerate the discomfort of letting her try on her own, perhaps not succeed, and recalibrate. This is the process of cause-and-effect thinking and a growth mindset. If she hits a bump in the road, ask her about alternatives, and offer options only when she asks for them.expect criticism and unfavorable feedback. They have a stream of negative self-talk in their minds that perpetuates low self-worth. Your words can be a bridge from self-criticism to self-esteem.
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