MS-13 Gang Leader Getting Some Pretty Great Ideas From Watching ICE Work

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SAN SALVADOR, EL SALVADOR—Praising U.S. law enforcement officials for the unfettered cruelty they have unleashed along the Mexican border, MS-13 gang leader Edwin Manica Flores admitted Tuesday that observing ICE’s work in recent weeks has provided him with quite a bit of inspiration. “Seriously, we would have never thought of keeping kids in a cage like that—in fact, that’s kind of off-limits for us—but you can’t deny the genius behind it,” said Manica Flores, observing that when one of these children or parents goes on to commit suicide out of sheer grief, federal authorities won’t even be held criminally liable for the death. “Sure, we have our fair share of evil tactics, but that ICE shit is next-level brilliant. I guess we can’t beat ourselves up too much, though, considering those guys have one of the most powerful governments in the world backing them. I’d love to meet one of those ICE motherfuckers, just to pick his brain a little, you know? We may force 9-year-olds to join MS-13, but the United States is putting them in cages like wild animals. That’s straight savage!” Manica Flores went on to suggest that if his men were half as nasty as ICE, they would control 100 percent of U.S. drug trafficking within weeks.

 

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greg_doucette 😯I hope they not gonna waterboard an Ice Agent! 🤭

greg_doucette

Likes the Shoot first, question later strategy.

I see the seeds of MS-14 sprouting..

Funny, but unfunny. Virtually ALL their ideas came from the U.S.!

gundog69

It never ceases to amaze me how The Onion always has the best image to go along with the article.

ChristabelBodhi I feel bad for the Onion. I mean, how do you beat Goya Bean Barbie?

After taking a refresher course from Homeland Security in Portland.

i just wonder when such people use their criminal experience and methods against ICE workers and facilities. wouldn't it be effective ?

Swing and a miss on this one. Comparing ICE to MS-13... come on

I guess I was expecting satire.

Yes, vilify that mostly Hispanic workforce by comparing them to rapists and murderers...

You guys used to be funny in the 90s

An art school drop out was also inspired by the segregated south back in 1933.

the onion has gone to shit, MAD magazine 2.0

Oh my god

I can't believe all seven MS-13 gang members were deported.

You know who else was good at home invasions? The Gestapo...which is where I suspect ICE got THEIR ideas.

One of your great works honestly

Rents SPARTICUS from netflix ...

I wish I owned a company so I could make that guy CEO. He looks capable.

Wow so funny. Cause the ICE are brutal. And the joke is, they are more brutal than MS13. Amazingly hilarious guys. Keep up the good work.

bullets are cheap

That MS tattoo means “Master of Science” not MS-13. Way to spin this to demonize a group of intellectual assylum seekers who could have been the answer to global warming. Now these poor heroes will be sent to a Nazi death camp and be showered in Zyklon B until they die. Racists!

Who wants to take a supermodel to work?

Onion really on point with some wicked satire

The thing about gangs is they have morals, just different than society’s standard. So probably pretty scary accurate.

'We may force 9-year-olds to join MS-13, but the United States is putting them in cages like wild animals. That’s straight savage!'

Anybody else never heard of MS13 before Trump took office?

Strange man. Very hard to read.

The Onion doing its best to make dumb people dumber.

Bruh

Please offer him a free night at speaker palosi's monster mansion in SF

This sort of isn’t funny.

funnyandsad

This is sublime! I love America

Also agrees with AOC Favors eliminating DHS &ICE

According to governmental data, the Obama administration has deported more people than any other president's administration in history. In fact, they have deported more than the sum of all the presidents of the 20th century.

He might even write a novel about it one day... ...when he gets tired of all the 'killing'...

Let's talk about MS-13....

Great read. I couldn't stop laughing.

savage.

christ

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