Mr. Tumnus Can Go To Hell

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What is the deal with this nasty faun and why must I contend with his existence?

, little Lucy Pensevie is one of the first of the siblings to discover Narnia. Waiting on the other side of the wardrobe, in the snowy environs of a world that I’d like to think is a collective hallucination, is a fi

gure ripped straight from my nightmares: Mr. Tumnus, a shirtless faun with a hidden agenda who absolutely cannot be trusted. Like most bits that I’ve committed to over the years and refuse to drop, I’m not sure where my dislike for Mr. Tumnus, the faun from C.S. Lewis’s Jesus fantasia, came from. To be clear, my knowledge of the world of Narnia is relatively limited: Turkish delight, a lion named Aslan, a snow queen with a bad attitude, and Tumnus, my nemesis for reasons that are just beyond my ken. At face value, Tumnus is ultimately helpful.

As you can see in the above clip from the 2005 adaptation, Tumnus has ditched the ineffectual red scarf that he wears as shoddy protection against the elements; the young Pensevie gal is drinking a tea. Why? Why would she take a tea from a faun with bad hair and think that it was okay? Why would she enter the domicile of said animal in the first place? These are questions for which I’ll never have answers, and I suppose that’s my lot in life.

In the 2005 film, Tumnus is played by James McAvoy, an actor that many people believe to be attractive but I, unfortunately, do not. If Ifind McAvoy attractive, then maybe I’d love Mr. Tumnus, or at least understand him more. But alas, my loins do not ignite for the satyr, and his general mien is unattractive. Coupled with his nature, which is both untrustworthy and deeply suspicious, I cannot abide his presence. There’s no reason to like this faun—and I don’t.

 

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