For a long time, the answer was obvious, a symptom of the patriarchy: wedding tradition dating back to medieval England said a woman would of course take her husband’s name. But since then, women have established the options of hyphenation, keeping their maiden name as a middle name, or retaining their original surname altogether. And with the legalization of same-sex marriage,have made it abundantly clear that this is one heteronormative tradition they are willing to forgo.
Take Rebecca and Chris Rosencline , a newly married couple based in Dallas, Texas, where she is a certified health coach and he works in sales operations. Rebecca never really thought about changing her name until Chris proposed, at which point she started to consider tradition: “When my mother got married, she kept her maiden name as her middle name. But my middle name carries a lot of significance to my family history, so I didn’t want to get rid of it.
The first step, she said, was convincing Chris. “At first he said no, and that really upset me. So I asked him why he felt that way, and he had a hard time articulating it. But we started to talk through it, and he came to the same conclusion as me just minutes after reading about the tradition [of marital name-changing].
When asked how non-traditional name changes might effect a wedding, expert New York City wedding planner Claudia Hanlin began to brainstorm: “It should definitely start with the save the dates, and also be in the wedding announcement if you’re doing one. And it’s certainly a wonderful moment when you are announced at the reception.
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