Mom Won’t Stop Talking About How Doctor Praised Her Colonoscopy Preparation

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ABITA SPRINGS, LA—Having carefully followed the recommended guidelines for clearing her bowels prior to the medical test, local mom Anne Kappas would not stop talking about how her doctor had praised the thoroughness of her preparation for a recent colonoscopy, sources confirmed Monday. “He told me I did everything correctly with the clear-liquid diet the day before, which I guess really helps clean all that stuff out of there,” Kappas wrote in one of 17 texts about the matter sent to family members, many of whom reportedly tried and failed to change the subject at several points during the exchange. “I was surprised when he said I was one of the best-prepped patients he’s ever had, but apparently some people he sees don’t even finish the full gallon of their laxative solution, if you can believe that! He also seemed really impressed that I didn’t have any polyps or lesions or anything, so it looks like my colon’s in pretty good shape.” At press time, reports indicated the family was relieved after their mother excitedly explained the doctor had told her she wouldn’t need another colonoscopy until 2030.

Source: Healthcare Press (healthcarepress.net)

 

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Well, she earned it.

She did good work. She should be proud.

A riot.

Clean as a whistle

am i the only one thinking that giving your colon a super harsh cleaning might fuck up the flora?

Is this Angela from the office?

I've never felt this personally called out by The Onion before.

Well, good for her. thelittlethings smallsuccesses goodjob

she be bleachin dat brown eye *wink*

I don't think that was a colonoscopy...

Kudos this is actually a funny one

Mom flex.

Must have bleached the ring to impress the doc.

I must admit, I was a little part in my report that said: Preparation: Excellent. It really said that. They appreciate a clean bowel it seems.

The Doc:

Been there and heard doctors complaining- If you have never prepped for this, you have no idea how bad it is. The exam is the easy part. Good job MOM.

and A Cute Angina

And when her husband asked, 'did the doctor say anything about that big ass of yours' she replied, 'sorry dear, your name never came up in conversation.'

Well if she readied herself up that good, sometimes a praise is all she needs for her hard work... Yes sweetie, it's your mom. Maybe a little confirmation that I did my colonoscopy good could cheer your mother up. It wouldn't hurt to say 'That's great, mom!' Ugh. 🙄😒😒

No shit!

Colonoscopy prep is torture and should be praised, lol.

As someone who screwed up his first colonoscopy preparation and had to go through the whole thing all over again the next day, I'm right there with her doctor. Good job, mom!

The colonoscopy showed her best side on camera. Not just part, but the hole thing.

'GIrl!.....dat shit was clean all da way up!...'

im eating over here cahmahn

vaccinateplz

like yeah, bitch I get it 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Who gives a shit

Real pain!

Who got into the cocaine this time?

His mom is an Anal Queen 👑

Isnt that asshole. Well glad it all worked its way out.

As a gastroenterologist, I can verify.

Listen here junior, mom cleared out her sphincter like a champ. Someday when you have your own colonoscopy and no other reasons to live, you’ll understand.

Doctor did not find her head upon examination

Sick_Nerd is this you

By Telling Every Cashier She Interacted With About It.

Been there!

I prefer the Mag Citrate and Dulcolax prep. I throw up Golytley.

eww

Dunking on the laxative prep, that’s so Mom

Must see Trump and Biden’s doctor...🤣

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