Mom Gathers Rolls Of Wrapping Paper Around Her To Stroke Softly

OAKWOOD, OH—Tenderly cooing as she basked in the comforting sight of snowman, Santa, and Christmas tree patterns, local mother Melissa Weaver surrounded herself with a dozen rolls of wrapping paper to softly stroke, sources confirmed Friday.

“Yes, my darlings, the time is near,” said Weaver, gently running her fingers through strands of red, green, and silver ribbon. “It won’t be long now. Patience, little ones, patience.” Weaver then reportedly gave a light kiss to one of her large fabric bows before returning her supplies to the closet and quietly shutting the door.

MonicaLewinsky rhondakrupps

I see u got that double sided wrapping paper there

MonicaLewinsky And also, could they have picked a better colour top? She looks like she's stroking the wrapping paper whilst topless.

Don't be silly, she was wielding them like bo staffs and pretending to fight invisible Jedi like Darth Maul. Get better reporters!

MonicaLewinsky I showed this to my wife and she called me a jackass. Then she threw some bows and an empty roll of scotch tape at me.

If mom is alone, I could stop by with a bottle of wine and we could find things to stroke together.

I really hope the kids aren't in the bathtub.

That's how you should treat a stroke..

That poor paper. It'll never see it coming.

It’s delicious too

Santa Wrapping Paper: 'What are you doing with those scissors? Wait! Please!! I have children, they are only small gift bags now, but I want to see them grow!!'

No wonder my wife locks the door when wrapping gifts

Hey! I do that too! Small world!

Just as long as she doesn't open a file cabinet and start petting the files.

Mom needs a D in her P (if you know what I mean)

At least you love me Christmas

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