Source: Healthcare Press (healthcarepress.net)
ManchuCandidate .DitchMitch2020 senatemajldr
ManchuCandidate This one is a delicious confit, Onion.
(Thanks to the 'Onion' for this venue);{ Everybody who HATES the GOP - please imagine Mitch dying of 'natural causes' at 11:11 every day!
KattFunny While that is funny.......Cocaine Mitch has gutted Democrats by using their own rules against them.
Don’t feel bad Mitch having $25 million in Kentucky is like being a billionaire, you can’t possibly blow it; just don’t get daddy mad at you otherwise he might turn off the money machine.
john_sipher Hey Mitch I miss Bird but remember we still got it going on ...God Bless each and everyone of us who gave it our best shot to take that stand to fight for our Honors to show Harmony goes allong way...May we never give up Fight for Freedom ...S
IbrahimAS97 Let's hope she failed to sterilize the knife when she performed the procedure.
“I remember when being the Master of my own House meant that I was the King of Graft..” “This women’s lib thing is out of hand if they can out-grift us old time guys...”
john_sipher Both husband and wife are corrupt
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Poor baby. 🙄
Emasculated you say? ‘You leave my husband alone!’ Elaine Chao fiercely protects hubby Mitch McConnell from angry ‘soy boy’ protesters as reported by BPR
HFBondsTrader This is an utterly liable headline. You have no proof that he doesn't make more illict money than she does. senatemajldr should take you take court and clear this up right now.
UrbaniteAlaska The arranged marriage of grifters for mutual assists in grifting. The most corrupt husband and wife in American government history. Sham marriage. That turtle never eats Chinese.
I thought y'all only did made up stories?
backatya62 She has to fuck Mitch, that alone justifies her making more than him
Impotent Mitch!
'Wife'
Than HE.
He should feel emasculated because of the time and finger fumbling it takes to find his tool before a pee. Washington DC has turned into a taxpayer subsidized retirement home. Thank you to the states who continue to send these aged, bent and confused dotards.
imthemadridista Someone has to wear the pants in that family.
Grtseeker Gawd, I adore you guys!
is the 🐐!!
Vqhxbb+$kaaskdj need
wrap02 I don't even think of Mitch McConnell as a man, I think of him as a eunuch who sacrificed his testicles on the altar of Trump.
Joke aside, this probably true.
😭🐢
He's of a generation where that matters
I love it when the Onion is out for blood again.
MoscowMitch will have plenty of time in prison to contemplate his inadequacy. DitchMitch2020
Darn Asians are too successful.
The Onion was so much cooler when it had to balls to roast both sides of the aisle. What happened, OnionEditors? Lost your nerve?
I wish my wife made more illicit bank than me. C.R.E.A.M.
Grandma
no dimorphism
JECarter4 McConnell’s grift got outsourced.
He didn’t need her money to be that way. But, all he wants is money so I’m thinking he loves it that she is rich.
Just inject it into my veins
is this the real news? since when did the onion become the real news? Lol hahah. nothign is funny anymore, it's all true.
So woke.
xxdr_zombiexx Maybe it's time for him to leave Congress and get a real job that pays him lots more. If he's unhappy with salary, that also means he isn't in it for the citizens. I think Mitch wants the same 'in your face' as trump.
The Onion with the haymaker.
Wussy Mitch McConnell
Sounds like a real headline to me.
He’s only in it so she can buy him a new turtle shell 🐢
S_Padival
The difference between illicit and solicit is il. Ill-i-cit or So-ill-I-cit. Cure the il-l with more money. She the money Dr.
Quiz for you Civics’ minded Twitter geniuses - name one of your heroes who’s married to Teresa Heinz.
Weak! WorkOfIntern
And has bigger hair.
He’ll still make the corruption olympics podium.
Russians a little behind in their payments, Mitch?
More so when his wife tells him to get a haircut...as she deals Barr into her private poker game at the Holiday Inn D.C.
MrJonCryer Lol, she was rich from her father's business when she married him!!!
I just love you.
RandyDiller “Watch it there young fella”
Magicalseth SpipheySteven
Money can buy them “love”. Revolting thought how a prehistoric reptile can do it with a slithering amphibian.
RhapsodysBIues Nah, he's a natural born gigolo.
I remember when the onion did fake news.
HOLY SHIT
.senatemajldr: 'I don’t like saying it, but it makes me feel like less of a man to see how much more ethically compromised money my wife brings in.”
johnDoh89456486 Lol
theraybergman
davemcclure Of course: She uses this imbecile as cover.
Excellent !!!
Man I would have thought he was married to Grinder
emullensemperfi He’s trying real hard to fill his pockets by pimping out for realtrump bonuses
davemcclure That's a Turn On if She Sexually Attack Him!
“McConnell also admitted that in his darkest moments, he feels emasculated by the thought that his wife has been way more successful at undermining the principles of democratic government in the United States than he has.” —The Onion Too true.
Lol👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🎤boom
“McConnell also admitted that in his darkest moments, he feels emasculated by the thought that his wife has been way more successful at undermining the principles of democratic government in the United States than he has.” —The Onion If only it were true.
So this is how I found out that Mitch McConnell is married to the Secretary of Transportation huh?
NO amount of money is worth being Mitch nekked on a regular basis.
john_sipher 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yertle just needs to work smarter, not harder.
Nigga looks like a turtle
Nice try, The Onion, but let's face it. Since Trump's election, you've been out-satired by reality.
john_sipher No he is not he married her for her Money!
uo_duck99 This is probably ACTUALLY true.😄
Her job involves moving things so she moved money.
Ouch.
This tweet can cause divorces
Chinese connections... Can't see kompromat Trump doing anything about it...
It's funny 'cause it's true.
That is for sure. I wonder if it possible for there to be a more blatantly corrupt administration in our history. I know historians talk about the people around Grant and Harding but they pale in comparison to not only his cronies but realDonaldTrump himself. MitchTheBitch
The tortoise and the hare.
only_si_chuck It might be in jest, but The Onion is one of the few places that mentions that Mitch McConnell is married to the Secretary of Transportation.
Wonkette She married him for his boyish good looks so he can’t complain now...
That stood out to me as well. He wouldn't be where he is without her and her wealthy family. 😆
😂😂😂😩😂😂😩😂😂😩😂😂 this wins tw today!👏👏👏❤️
gaialuv His father in-law also gave him a large sum of money! senatemajldr appears to be a grifter!
Impeach Chao. Bonus: We get to watch Mitch wrangle with recusal ethics.
susanrahimzadeh JulesRahim8 the great state of kentucky
Oh great, women know that just means he's going to start bombing more civilians now.
His wife should start a “McConnell Foundation” and take donations from Multinational Companies and Foriegn Governments. It was a gold mine for the Clintons.
Following US politics since grade 12 Poli-Sci class (1968) I've never seen such a corrupt gov't, including any Central & S. American country. And you're waiting like turkeys to slaughter.
He do love the lettuce. TardyTheTurtleMcConnell
But surely it’s not for lack of effort
Hater on a half-shell
Truth
Jesus you’re supposed to be about parody not real news.
He looks like a muppet who's been soaking in hydrochloric acid.
Tiger Moms rule!
🤣🤣🤣
What a shame. tsk tsk, back to the pond turtee
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