Miss Manners: ‘When my sister and I go out ... she visits extensively with waitstaff, salespeople’

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: I always invite the same friends and neighbors to my annual barbecue, and they always attend. ...

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my sister and I go out to dinner, lunch or shopping, she continually includes the waitstaff or salespeople in our outing. She visits with them extensively, becoming “new best friends” almost instantly.

GENTLE READER: “Before we go in, are there any new friends who will be likely to join us? I hope not. I did so look forward to spending time just with you.” Miss Manners imagines the staff will be relieved.DEAR MISS MANNERS: I always invite the same friends and neighbors to my annual barbecue, and they always attend. One neighbor, who is very outspoken, asked if he and his wife could buy pizza and bring it to my gathering.

GENTLE READER: It is only your blunt outspokenness, not your reaction, with which Miss Manners finds fault. Allow her to translate what you said into something more polite.

 

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