Miss Manners: Please don’t expect the younger generations to act the same way yours does

I’m a younger millennial, turning 28 next month. Millennials and Generation Z have radically different attitudes than previous generations towards things like work culture, dining and even thank-you cards. We discuss our pay openly to promote equity in the workplace. We care more about how a dining partner treats the waitstaff than which fork he or she uses. And while we do appreciate everybody who gives us gifts, we simply do not place value on thank-you cards like previous generations.

In general, please do not expect the younger generations to act the same way yours does. Some manners are eternal; some change. It’s okay to acknowledge this. I know this will likely fall on many deaf ears, but it’s worth hearing the other perspective. She is sure that your internal appreciation is brimming, but people who take the time to pick out presents -- or more likely, pay for them from your unsolicited wish list -- deserve the external and explicit kind. Miss Manners’ inbox is full of complaints to that effect and she assures you that they are not just coming from the older generations.

Treating waitstaff with respect and kindness is certainly obligatory. Doing so and using the correct fork, however, are hardly mutually exclusive.

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