Miss Manners: I used the wrong bathroom at a dinner party

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Letter writer used the closest bathroom at a dinner party – apparently it was the wrong one.

I was a guest at a dinner party where the host had an overnight guest staying. I needed to wash my hands after petting their dog, because the dog had visibly dirtied them, so I used the nearest washroom. It was off the living area where everyone was mingling, and I had seen other guests using it.

While I was washing my hands, I heard the hostess rather loudly and passive-aggressively say to her overnight guest, “We need to train the others not to use your bathroom!” I immediately felt like such an imposition for using the wrong bathroom. We weren’t given any sort of tour of their home. Should I not have assumed it was okay to use the nearest room, which other guests were using? Could the hostess have handled it differently? Please advise so I won’t use the wrong washroom in the future.could have lived with your innocent mistake without resorting to insult. She could also have proactively declared, “If anyone needs the restroom, it’s the first door down the hall to your left.”

Miss Manners always finds a direct approach beforehand, rather than a passive one afterward, not only polite, but effective.In general, the most polite thing for you to do is to ask the location to the bathroom, even if you have seen one. No explanation of dog slobber necessary.Prior to a two-day class/workshop, the instructor emailed the roster to all the students. This roster included everyone’s names, addresses, email addresses and phone numbers.

 

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