Miss Manners: Annoying family member keeps giving deliberately insulting gifts

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How does a polite person respond to repeated insults in the form of gifts?

I have a family member with whom I have a challenging relationship. I go out of my way to be civil and polite, but also to keep my distance.

I enjoy gourmet cooking, and can make those fancy meals come out just like the pictures in the magazines. My dinner parties are very popular, and I am often asked to cater for friends’ special occasions. This relative gave me a beginner’s cookbook for kids with a note hoping it would “finally help me learn to cook.”

Before you open her next present, say, “Oh, Cousin Melanie, what are you getting me this time? A mop for my dirty house? Some hot sauce because my food is bland?”

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