Milk Is Really Having a Moment!

There’s no actual question posed in this post, but the idea of a 32-year-old man bravely ordering a glass of milk at a restaurant at high noon is bewildering. No one’s saying he needs to drink alcohol or coffee at that hour, but our gal water is sitting right there! A brisk fountain Coke, an unsweetened iced tea, a seltzer, some orange juice if it’s brunch o’clock are all suitable beverages for public consumption.

We do not know the political leanings or opinions of the Milk Man in question, and in fact we’re missing many important details in this story because the point is the milk: The poster is rightfully anticipating a heated debate about the optics of drinking milk in public as an adult. There are certain situations in which this would be appropriate.

Did you consume a ghost pepper, a Scotch bonnet, or a Carolina reaper and are now in need of immediate succor and/or medical attention?Your breath will smell like the fridge at the Peet’s Coffee in the Embarcadero at the height of the morning commuter rush; have you adequately prepared for that eventuality?If the answer to any of these questions is yes, you can proceed with the milk, but if you hesitate, I beg you to reconsider! It doesn’t matter to me if you drink milk in the privacy of your...

Clearly, there is something in the air—a whiff of curdled dairy on the late summer breeze, the scent of a tall glass of whole milk, sitting out on the counter, waiting to be consumed. The hot-vax summer that never was is giving way to an autumn full of dairy farts and milk-drinkers, loud and proud and unafraid of unsavory cultural associations, like the Korova Milk Bar inor Allison Williams sipping from a glass of cold white while eating Froot Loops from a bowl.

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