Michael Phelps Breaches Surface To Ask If Coronavirus Still Happening Before Returning To Briny Depths

ENCINITAS, CA—Crashing through the top of the surf in an arching jump before approaching a group of nearby swimmers, Michael Phelps reportedly breached the ocean’s surface Friday to ask if the c

oronavirus is still ongoing before returning to the briny depths. “How fares the surface world? Does the pandemic still run rampant across your dry kingdom?” asked Phelps, who sunk his teeth into a wiggling halibut as the stunned crowd explained that thousands were still dying every day. “I will not return to your land until this pandemic has passed. The sea gives us all we need, and I must look after my family’s safety. You understand.

The word briny, turns me on immeasurably

Bloated or not , he shall return to the olympics untill he has the gold market cornered.

carlquintanilla So, he didn't vote?

Cyanbane We'll know just after November 3rd. 😆🇺🇸

The bee is making you look bad, they're on it daily....you look stuck in the past.

BillWeirCNN Has it been tough to come up with stories that are weirder than what has been happening?

🤣🤣🤣🤣

😂😂

And I’m right behind him.

haoyudoing

BillWeirCNN he probably asked if dumb donald is still happening. way more annoying than covid.

Still one of my favorite headlines

Did he have his bong with him ?

Fake News. He can't smoke weed underwater.

That last part of the article was a kicker. 👍

THE LAST LINE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 DEAD

😄

Lucky.

I knew he was aquaman/the deep

Now that's funny! Keep up the good work

Green_Footballs Wait, you sure that's not JFK, Jr? (j/k)

tdapercy

I don't normally brag, but those were my used condoms & plastic pack rings he swallowed.

Thanos: You can hold your breath for it.

Hasn't this become like a series now? 'Phelps surfaces for (BLANK) before diving into bring depths'

Lol

Any chance he could have a scout around when he goes back under 😟😟

“I will not return to your land until this pandemic has passed. The sea gives us all we need, and I must look after my family’s safety. You understand. I wish the best for you rock-dwellers, but I must tend to my aquatic home.” Lucky bastard

i hear he can talk to the sea creatures and he navigates by sonar

Babylon Bee is so much funnier these days.

Guys, it's funnier if you actually read it. It's only a paragraph. Do it.

ah yes aquaman finally is coming back from his natural habitat

one of the few humans who can live for months like a fish.

I wonder if his met or killed any eldritch abominations in the depths

Bobbing along on the bottom of the beautiful briny sea.

He could totally do that

When you ask your mom if the guest is gone yet

Tell Aquaman: 'Blub'

mmmmm briny depths

😂 back to his natural habitat

So THAT'S where he's been!

hunterguire Thank you so much for bringing this onto my timeline. Honestly might be the funniest thing I have ever read.

Go back under, Michael. You don't want to see what's happening.

Hit that bong, son! They won't catch you with a camera, this time! aqualung

Go back it’s still here

He should never return

No, Not Michael...

Damn, that last line was slightly morbid. 😶

Michael Phelps has “dumb face.”

See you next year, Mike!

I love the ending. Sad but true

He's just being Shellfish . . . . . . . . 🙂

Riding out 2020 with his bud..

He saw his shadow, at least 6 more months folks.

Relatable

On a scale of 1-10 Onion = 3 Babylon Bee = 9.5

Not funny. Make more posts about black folks during these times. BlacklivesStillMatter

No word from davidblaine going into day 54 and the people are quite excited for his arrival.

After making contact with land species, Phelps returned to Atlantis to notify fellow Atlanteans that, 'no, shit is still cray cray up there'.

He is helping Aquaman run Atlantis these days

😳😂😂

Thought he would surface for another bong blast.

dive dive dive

It was definitely the word ‘Briny’ that took this headline to the next level 😌

This was funny. Stay in this lane and avoid the political sniping. It's not original and very tedious.

He is, after all, a demigod, the son of Poseidon 🌊😊

How do you keep a joint lit underwater?

Well done. Funny.

Stay under Michael. It's gonna be a while.

🤣

did he speak english or just squeal like a dolphin?

'At press time a purple, bloated Phelps had washed up on shore after swallowing 20 pounds of plastic.'

LMFAOOO THIS IS SO HILARIOUS

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