Meet R. Eric Thomas, the new columnist offering advice in Asking Eric

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In all my work, empathy is the foundational element. Why? Because the stories of our lives are empathy engines.

I usually answer by joking that I’d definitely advise my younger self not to lie to my friends about seeing the movie “Se7en” in 1995.Then one of my friend’s parents mentioned it to my parents. That’s when my parents, not wanting to be seen as the kind of people who would let their child see a gory R-rated film, ordered me to come clean.

Even though I’m separated from the advice-seekers, I see this space as a conversation. When you write in and share your story, you’re not asking for a decree from on high, you’re asking to be heard, understood, to feel that you’re not alone. And when you read the stories of others, you’re asking to be included in something mysterious, confounding, funny and very human.

Here’s what’s happening on my side of the dinner party table: I consider marriage and family units as an ever-developing and changing ecosystem. I think a lot about work culture and the large and petty squabbles that bubble up. I have strong feelings about people caring for their pets. I love a wedding or party where food is abundant. I’ll absolutely give you my honest take on the kitchen backsplash you picked out, and I’m of the opinion that wallpaper is back in vogue.

She knows she should set a boundary with him because it’s the healthiest thing to do, but she also wants to continue a physical relationship with him. What should I tell her to do?Dear Co-Work and Play: If your friend were the lead character in a Hallmark rom-com starring Vanessa Hudgens, I’d say, “Go for it! Life is full of sliding doors, et cetera.

 

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