Meditation Made My Anxiety Worse, So I'm Giving It Up

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'It's as though I'm always running, and the moment I stop, the intrusive thoughts come flooding back.'

during a mindfulness course at my college, but eventually began sneaking out to the bathroom during that portion of the class, frustrated that everyone else seemed to be able to do what I couldn't.ADVERTISEMENT

Meditation wasn't something I tried once before giving up on it. I tried to practice mindfulness through meditation for close to two years. I wasn't diligent about daily practices and journal keeping the whole time, but I made a conscious effort. I was told to be patient with myself, that it would get easier with practice, but I can't recall a single session during which I was able to. Each attempt just led to racing, uncontrollable thoughts, which I then beat myself up over.

At first, I felt like I had failed, but then a therapist reminded me that meditation isn't for everyone, nor is it the only answer. Plus, giving it up now doesn't have to mean giving it up forever. There may be a time in my life where I'm feeling more in control of my thoughts, and at that point, meditation might actually do some good.

 

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