Maybe adults should act more like children when it comes to fairness

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I recently asked readers to weigh in on my column — subject line: My Thoughts.

You know, let the old man have a piece of your mind, tell him exactly what you think. Well, today I want to share a submission on a fascinating topic — what is fair.“I think little kids get it right. When there is a disagreement, they often say ‘that isn’t fair.’ They seem to have an internal barometer. We adults tend to use terms like “right,” “legal” “authorized” etc. I explore my own biases, and I ask what is the difference between when it is me and when it is somebody else.

It appears that in 2023, more and more, “fair” is only in the eye of the beholder. What happened to our inner child voice? Studies show that children as early as 12 months of age intuit the proper behavior, particularly when the “spoils” are disproportionate. How wonderfully ironic that the studies show that children “get it” at a very early age, and it seems to guide their inherent behavior. By contrast, we adults have created justice institutions to “make sure fairness prevails.”

Fairness is the particular obligation of a leader. When I negotiate with an engineer, offering him a salary and stock options, I have the complete upper hand in the stock aspect. I know the cap table and all the financials, so if I say 5,000 options, that number is meaningless to the potential hire, unless the leader gives context.

 

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