MENLO PARK, CA—Emphasizing that he intended to learn from his mistakes and listen more to others, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced Thursday that he would hold a virtual roundtable with American hate groups around the country to better understand how they work.
“It’s important to stay educated about the issues during this difficult time, which is why I’ve invited several prominent leaders from the Aryan Brotherhood, the KKK, and the American Nazi Party to join me and educate me about the challenges they face every day, and what we at Facebook can do to help,” said Zuckerberg before apologizing for failing to invite any Grand Wizards, White Knights, or Skinheads to a discussion like in the past.
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I had to check again if it was the onion. That's how bad it is.
He just wants to know more about humans so he can become a real boy.
is onion the same as BOTS!
Too soon. WAY too soon.
cameron_kasky That might be a GOOD IDEA?
VidyaKrishnan When you acknowledge them as hate group what else you want to understand, you want to see how this world will destroy itself cause of hate being spread for free and easy by Facebook. No one group in this whole world can dominate the other , they can co exist
Why though ?
I will be really disappointed if they don't have an actual round table. Would be second post claiming such an event without an actual round table.
Another one of those 'can't tell if it is an Onion headline or real' FacebookPromotesHate Facebook
cameron_kasky Free advertisement for them. We all know how they work.They breathe it. Teach it. Live it. Why do they hate? No matter what lie they tell. Their is not justification. Except worshipping satan. That is it. That is the answer.
Just let them do hateful things to others. That way you will know who is the worst, and who is in need of the most healing. Maybe you can find somebody to fund your project. Big Bucks will be nice. Doing good things for others is not very profitable, right?
gelling_randy Says the alien that is Mark Zuckerberg
Anyone else suspect that Zuckerberg and Jared Kushner were manufactured in the same robot factory
That's just Facebook tho?
'We're just leaving ad revenue on the table folks!'
Sorry Mark lad they're all booked up burning and looting American cities this week
He should just take a field trip to Portland
Seen here: human toe Mark Zuckerberg
He looks like Data from Star Trek, the New Generation.
This Just in. Mark Zuckerberg Offers hate groups tools to better connect with each other
Lifeforms, you tiny little lifeforms.
It's a genetic character :)
Oh, & good job not inviting the Proud Boys. Everybody knows they're just a bunch of incel losers who are angry about how they were potty trained.
Richard is logged on
In fairness Twitter has way more hate than Facebook. I genuinely have no idea why people obsess over FB when this hellhole is available.
It's just a hunch, but I have a feeling he'll probably be the only Zuckerberg at the table.
Will there be smoked meats?
No satire to read here. He is their leader.
Too close to reality
Call it the Hate Table Talk 😅
Start with BLM they absolutely qualify as a hate group
It is a two-person roundtable: Zuckerberg and Donald J Trump.
ronfromsandiego Sorry, Onion, but satire is dead. I could totally see this happening.
If groups like the KKK didn't exist, who would we all be able to hate together?
Moonalice
Why does his face look like he is totally considering it?
🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂
That is hysterical
Grady_Booch
i thought this was supposed to be satire
slpng_giants
This but it's not satire
I'd write symposium in place of roundtable. It'd sound more smug.
I thought the schtick was you guys make things up, y'know, like satire?
Sorry Mark lad they're all booked up doing speeches this week
Z U C K the C U C K
Stealing that IP
RyanMcGarry WHY?
Rumor has it that the Zucker is coming out with a new book ghostwritten by Sandberg tenatively titled 'Bend Over'.
FIX OAN PLATFORM. CAN YOU?
He's a racist himself.
You're Facebook sucks. All they do is harrass people and promote pornography material. So improper when children like mines go in the fucking pages!!!
ResistMonsters Need to get rid of FB and that cut.
Pretty sure social media platforms are more interested in radicalization, they're banning people off their platforms and forcing communities into echo chambers. The punchline is funnier, Mark Zuckerburg bans conservatives off platform repeatedly, confused when they still exist.
Wait didn’t he do this in real life? lmao
when reality is worse than satire it’s time to burn it al
jjjinvesting DNC ?
While reading 'The Shadow over Innsmouth', I inadvertently pictured the people of the town similar to Zuckerberg.
Am I the only one who thinks he looks like an Alien 🤔
fuckerberg
I love how you picked the most robotic image of that lmd that I have ever seen
Plausible
khaxan So he wants to talk to the hate groups in a roundtable? I am not sure many of the Aryan Brotherhood would talk to a person with a Jewish surname meaning 'Sugar Mountain'.
whats up with that guys face? He does look like an android from Star Trek
He'll be right at home. So comfortable with hate mongers.
You want to understand hate? Read your messages.
It's about time someone takes the lead on solving these social issues!
nort_lights Fuc* Mark zuckerberg & Facebook
There's something about his hair that says 'I really should be under a hat'.
American hate group mean every single white conservative male BTW.
He just wants to learn how to feel emotion
HATE NAZIS & FASCISTS & EXTERMINATION ARE WORLDWIDE!
I know this is fake. But sadly can see it happening.
Aka he logs on and reads the messages of the first recommended groups
please miss 😹😹😹
“To better understand how to make money out of them”?
Who been hatin' on his toupee?
I really want to know what planet this guy is from, or if he is an android built in Japan or somewhere like that. ZuckerbergAlienAndroid
StarshipTrop19 Gee let me think They HATE things different from them Hey Mark if you went to a dinner where everyone was hateful towards you would you stay? So why would people stay with your Social media Facebook when it is hostile territory?
JustJeast Muckerberger is the new form of yellow journalism. Pay him & he’ll print any lies you want.
Yuckerberg.
Mark Zuckerberg should use some of his money to buy eyebrows.
please.
Feel sorry for M.Z...to have MONEY with NO POWER. A puppet on a string..Wonder who will regulate movement this time.🤔🤔
Zuckerberg wants to maximise their facebook potential.
These are supposed to be fake.
There was a racially motivated murder in Denmark, the perpetrators were posting on White Identity Extremist groups on Facebook.
Yeah they'd love to hang around a table led by a megarich Jewish man.
I wonder if this is part of the ChanZuckerberg Initiative
🏆👏🙌👑👍🥇🎖👏👏👏👏👏
I want to see who shows up. Stop making me want to see bad things
Onion is on it today
Gotta tighten up those ad targeting categories for the upcoming election
I thought that 'virtual roundtable with American hate groups' was Facebook's official name?
and by 'Hate Groups' we mean anyone who we slightly disagree with.
Everything is going to be ok, Mark!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Fuck this dude
Alternate title: Mark Zuckerberg Announces a meeting with the board of directors
so the hate group Is Mark ZUCKERBERG? Who are the good guys!!
Thank you for the accurate news . I swear you're the only one who doesn't lie anymore
That doesn't seem fake or funny at all. Onion if it's about Trump and his racist enablers it just doesn't come across as fake. This is child's play next to the Republicans behavior.
I did nazi see this coming.
🤞
yes
Fair
That's going to take care of it. Good job Mark
We really need to boycott Facebook.
They say they're merely a mirror of society when they're actually an amplifier.
And accept their ad money...
We need a roundtable to understand how HE works
He took a break mid-meeting to ban someone for thirty days for posting a picture that showed .1 square inches of areola.
Remember, Zuck is married to a minority individual, but some minorities are more minority than others!
MearsSherlock
And like many other white men who side with hate groups, Zuckerberg married an Asian woman.
aweary Zuckerberg A true man of integrity who gives EVERYONE the freedom of speech even if YOU don't like it. WE need to learn from him.
fredric_wertham Yea right! I bet he did. I think he joined to be supportive
fredric_wertham He does already. It's called a Facebook board meeting
They hate it's not rocket science
realDonaldTrump
He must have a really really BIG computer screen.
What I wanna know is how his hairline works
annejowrites I’m having trouble not knee-jerking at Onion headlines. Anything seems possible now.
cameron_kasky Undermining American democracy 101
Since when is the onion against free speech? Have the radical zoomer idealoges overrun it or what?
He already testified before Congress.
Yeah basically
much love to writers. things are just so fucked up right now, this could be legit news.
David95309707 Well they don’t get flagged for their racist shit on FB and that makes him more money so it makes sense
Omg is this true!?
cameron_kasky Did Zuck ever go to Epstein’s island?
amandafclark Well it does provide an oversight abstract on how racist extremist/ terrorists/hate groups operate, but it needs to be recorded & then condemned
Ok onion. You got the win today.
He can begin with ANTIFA US. join zucki
He ought to know! His Facebook platform is host to many different t hostile hate groups.
Seriously, I'm confused now, this sounds like his weekly routine, where's the catch?
Zuckerberg knows where his bread is buttered, facebook these days is 70% older white people,half of them are cat ladies and sewing circles,the other half are rednecks and racists and MAGA types,young people fled a long time ago.
At the table, Antifam the Democratic Party, Black Live Matter, Black Pnathers
rufat_zeynalli dont give him ideas
When reality becomes satire.. and satire becomes reality
Meeting said to tentatively take place at site and date of upcoming GOP National Convention.
Yeah.... Probably.
DeleteFacebookNow
Trump and his sycophants are going to put the Onion out of business.
Couldn’t they do something to make him look more like a humanoid ?
Wouldn’t surprise me a bit
I thought you guys were supposed to be satire.
MZ:They Trust Me?!😂Dumb F**ks!
And nytimes wants to publish op-eds from each of them. I mean how will you know to oppose the idea of a race war worse than the civil war, if you don’t hear from the people that want to bring it about?
MykeCole He's already been meeting them. He hired a bunch. katieharbath
Shuuuttthefuuukuuupzuckfkface
Too late, The Onion; he's already had that round table with them. He chose to support them instead of the US Constitution, democracy and what this country is supposed to be. I know the article is supposed to be satire, but the truth and facts have made it non-fiction.
The HOOD of FB has spoken! Conservatives and White Supremacist spread their hate on FB uncensored! Suckerberg is recommending reading KKK leaders publishings..... DELETE FACEBOOK Send F*UCKERBERG a msg!
HateWins?
Zuck, the Susan Collins of Silicon Valley.
It's funny because it's true.
I didn't know the Onion reports truth too.
So he is going to get Facebook, Twitter, instagram and now LinkedIn to get together and continue to flame hate over our society? Defend the Terrorists but be against the hardworking Americans who lost lives, jobs and businesses!
MsSmartie2u Wait did he actually not do this?
MacFinn44 Zuck is a Trumpist hack. Project Alamo...
Zuck should be able to sell their info just like everyone else'. 🤑
STOP DeleteFacebook
So that he can absorb their knowledge into the Borg.
Is the RNC at the top of this “list”?
The man is a dick
And they're back!😁😁
Frog Faced Motherfucker
If you sit at a table with 10 fascists to have a nice polite conversation about their views. There are 11 fascists at the table.
Zuckerberg believs in nothing but making more money.
this sent me .. lmao
oh come on can't someone just be his friend, even if you gotta fake it, he is starved for conversation...
Hillarious! But seriously DeleteFacebook
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