Cooper, who reportedly spent years trying to make the most of his physique, has gradually become more and more frustrated with his body, which he admitted had little chance of ever turning into anything he would be happy with.“I always thought I’d wind up with something better than this, but here I am,” said Cooper, who reported that his body has grown considerably more difficult to manage. “Early on, I thought, ‘This is okay for now.
“Now, every morning when I wake up, I think, ‘Ugh, this again?’” he continued. “It’s not just disappointing; it’s humiliating, really.” Noting that his body leaves him feeling inferior, emasculated, and exhausted at the end of each day, Cooper said he could not even remember what it was he liked about it in the first place. Far from improving, Cooper explained that his body has gone steadily downhill and grown more dysfunctional with time, and admitted that, as the years pass, his likelihood of finding any redeeming aspects of his anatomy becomes more remote.
Additionally, given his age, Cooper stated that he will probably have to remain in his current physical situation for the foreseeable future.“At this point, I think it’s too late to do anything about it, so the only thing I can really do is just accept it for what it is and go on with my life,” said Cooper, recognizing that while the world is full of people in circumstances far worse than his own, such knowledge was hardly any consolation.
“I guess the best I can do now is try not to screw it up any more than I already have,” Cooper added. “The last thing I’d want is for it to get any more unbearable.”
Given that we all eventually succumb, this is, in fact, true for everyone.
Like tRump.
Man, Baker Mayfield really let himself go.
I know the feeling well.
He just like me
Hopefully he didn't stick under the bed.
A+++++tweet!
Looks ok to me 🤷♂️
But he thinks you want to see it anyway
That is why death is a blessing 🙏
hes just like me fr
What are you talking about? He’s hot!
Target practice theonion
Same
This looks like a guy I met in rehab
Man Stuck In Dead-End Body
100% his fault
*sigh* this looks like DarkViperAU
Weird. I don't remember growing a beard.
They make t shirts for that now
Me too, Buddy. Me too.
I’m not sure why this is making me cackle but I can’t stop
I’m not fat I’m deluxe edition
I feel attacked
Aren’t we all?
Just me next time, Onion
Same
Put him in a harness and send him to the eagle and his end won’t be dead I can tell you that
When you believe in reincarnation you're not really stuck......
Baker Mayfield 6 months after being cut by the Panthers.
Yeah, but he can grow a beard.
Put him in a leather harness and he’ll be popular at The Eagle, just gotta find the crowd that likes you
Too close to home.
Body Positivity
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I know the feeling 😔
Bmosc1 DavisMC CinciMowbray
Cc BarstoolBigCat
ProfessorTesla_ Bro just do some sit-ups and cut back on cheese 😉
I feel you buddy
Soon to be dead body
The Onion in human form
Same
Looks like he might be stuck in that kitchen, too
I love how this article takes on a new meaning if you assume they're trans (FtM or repressing MtF).
He’s lucky to still have a body. Mine is currently on furlough and may never come back.
They never got my permission for this article!
He's not even a bad size. Wish I was thick.
TheyCallMeDSP
His head looks photoshopped on his body
I just finished working out and then I read this..
With all of the gyms closed I can understand why
JoeTurtlehead It you
We’re all stuck in dead end bodies unfortunately
Stop making stories about me.
That kitchen is perfectly shitty, btw
Ouch this one hits
I mean same, tbh.
he's got a decent beard game though
Naw ... he's OK. I'd take him jogging, that's all. Maybe a trim, too.
Low effort
I feel triggered by this
Fuck you this is supposed to be satire.
That dude don’t care.
Temporarily
Fuuuuuck you Onion, lol
The end is near.
His body, his choice. ✌🏽
hasanthehun this u?
Aren’t we all?
reported
Is this bertkreischer?
“never getting any action in this...”
He should adopt the more positive body affirmation Ive heard beer gut men say 'Bought and paid for...'
When a man looks that angry my advice is dont take photos.
gabrielenguard So it's gabrielenguard before he quit weed ?
Chinese have taken all the good bodies.
Ryan? From SuperMega?
You are what you eat: Rump-roast.
I'm built the same but bald and covered in body hair.
Damn that’s relatable
Transitioning Sucks Sometimes. She Said Eventually She Wanted to Be Built Like ARNOLD. They Gave Her TOM Arnold.
allahpundit Looks like MattWalshBlog on steroids.
I mean, we're all stuck in dead-end bodies
I know him..
😭
Is this a large Baker Mayfield?
Thanks for not me
I love it that ’s editorial process is just randos throwing out one-liners to a room full of smart people.
Hm. Same.
Well
Is there any other kind?
whyd you have to use my picture
He should grab his cv and head on down to the morgue.
When I was obese, I ate like shit and didn’t do anything active. Now I’m active and am conscious about what I eat, no longer obese. I don’t understand why people act like these 2 actions are unrelated....
Isn't this the guy from Season 2 of 90 day fiancee?
Woah.
that stretch pattern is all too familiar
Too real, The Onion. Too real.
Don't think the dead body will be overly joyed
I'm in this tweet and I don't like it
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