Man Putting Off Starting Family To Focus On Treading Water In Career For Few Years

HAMPTON, VA—Saying he wanted to wait until the time was absolutely right, local man Dennis Fitzpatrick told reporters Monday that he was putting off starting a family in order to spend a few more years focusing on treading water in his career.

“I want to settle down eventually, but, before I do, I want to make sure I spend a bit more time going nowhere in my job,” said Fitzpatrick, adding that he needed to make no discernible upward progress at work for a while longer before he could even think about having children. “It’ll take two or three more years of making purely lateral career moves to even consider becoming a father.

Welcome to the club!

Maybe after few years he will be able to afford a stroller.

This is great. 😂 Would be even better if it was a woman.

This is life as a millennial lol

🤣🤣

Replace “Career” with “Buying Crypto”, and this becomes more relatable to 80% of twitter

It's a sad state of the world when the satire news group known as The Onion starts actually putting out truthful real world articles. Cuz damn, most people I know are in this exact boat. Good thing I don't want kids, otherwise this would probs be me too tbh 🤷‍♀️

I’m putting it off cause nobody wants me

23 year old with genetic Yahtzee of both thinning hair and high forehead, determined to try haircut that he has no hope of pulling off

A true professional

This hits home

It's important to stay unmotivated.

Is that me?

this looks like MaddyMorphosis

jeppodude

So you're judged if you don't have children ? That's f****d up.

I didn't expect to feel so attacked by The Onion.

the fear of failing must be ingrained

That was me now I’m married with 4 kids moral of the story keep treading water 🤣

I feel attacked

These days, health insurance is where they got ya by the balls

Yo it's absolutely me

5, to be exact

I thought was dead

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