SAN FRANCISCO—Scoffing at his ignorance and petulance, sources confirmed Thursday that local man Clint Williams, despite being a resident of the most affluent country in the history of the world, had the nerve to complain about being homeless.
his is the United States of America we’re talking about! This guy’s basically won the lotto, and here he is griping that he’s hungry.” At press time, Williams was whining that there weren’t any public restrooms nearby where he could wash up before work.
Watch the gatekeepers come in the comments.
Hunger makes people real cranky sometimes, we should give homeless people benzos so we don't gotta hear about it
He literally takes advantage of his friends and squats on their couches.
i can see this article being unironically posted
In the city I live I never see homeless. We are sorta proud of that.
Women living in the first world complain about 'being oppressed.'
He doesn’t appreciate anything
Kinda not funny
Boomer Blue MAGA: He shouldn’t complain because it will help Donald Trump and the GQP!
🤣
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It will only take one billionaire to get rid of homelessness. Which one will?
This is basically every Fox News story, but they’re not joking
There’s starving kids in Africa who would love to be homeless and living in San Francisco.
Related: Republicans Recoil In Disgust, Declaring 'Probably A Groomed Victim Of The Gay LBGT Agenda!'
TOO REAL
Give him somewhere to sleep, and he'd likely just complain that he hadn't eaten in days.
Sad state this country is in
Did Matt Yglesias write this
If you're homeless in the us it's your fault. Idgaf what any of you losers say.
I mean, I get the commentary. But this is just fucking sad, man. What the fuck.
Well, problem was that no one in affluent countries was carrying cash anymore. We solved that in America by opening state-legal, federally illegal weed stores.
If you aren't used to living a difficult life, dealing with such things may be very scary for you, like living below the poverty line. Or, if you're just used to looking up, at people who live in luxury.
Why doesn't he ask his dad or uncle for some start up cash Could change his life!
Using the public good for yourself is a privilege! /s
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There’s a “white privilege” joke here somewhere…
And when rich people spit on you, consider it an omen, perhaps a good luck charm
Even though i know this is the onion..My buddy was in San Fransisco and took leftovers home from a restaurant. He saw a homeless guy on the sidewalk and offered his filet mignon to him and he said' i don't want no food i just want your damn money' Incredible and a real story
The planet is our home. Dude. Man. Bro. If you were really homeless you'd be floating in space. Dude. Man. Bro.
Y'all never miss!
KiraPierce16 Sad, but quite true.
Well we can help what he likes. Some ppl don’t want nothing out of life but to be drunk or high on drugs everyday.
Man living in freest country in the world has the nerve to complain about it
Totally confused. Who cares about any of that crap if you've nothing to eat and no roof over your head? I must be reading this wrong.
BasicIncome
Another banger of a tweet
PariahSickKid Seriously, can't he just pull himself up by his boot straps?
I can only hate this corrupt government so much. Chill.
EnesFreedom
RedwoodGirl allisonforla ...a generous take on 'your' non-position. Haven't learned/retained much or since 11th grade..other than Pali advocating for a decade & breeding unmixed kids....
Quick, someone hand this man a pamphlet for a means-tested, limited-time tax credit for homeless vets who have been on the streets for more than 5.75 years and served in at least two branches of the Armed Forces from between 1978-1981 excluding service in West Germany and who ha
Too close to how we treat them IRL
God damn you people knock it out of the park every time. Excellent.
I think you're Lindsay Lohan.
Wish he was a heroin junkie at this point.
I remember when the Onion was pure satire. I miss those days. This is a good “article”. Succinct in messaging. Why spend money on the homeless, who could be contributing taxpayers to society when we have bang bang bombs to keep building.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Democrats
That nerve must be from his nationalistic pride.
'Most affluent country in world history'. Ha ha ha, good one.
'There but for the grace of God, go I.'
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