because of the belief that there must be something wrong with you, and then shame about yourself because you are so bothered by your friend’s seeming rejection.
If you have a dismissing attachment style, try using the “consistent, available, warm, and responsive” recipe. Being consistent means that you are clear with the other person about how much you can be counted on in times of need. If you have a crisis-prone friend, for example, you may need to state that you probably are not going to pick up the phone at 3 a.m. That way, your friend will know what you are and are not willing to do.
If you are reserved and emotionally less expressive, be aware that your more anxious friends might need the interpersonal feedback to know that you still like them and are still present in your interaction. Giving verbal, facial, and emotional responses are the last part of the recipe. In attachment theory, this might be termed “mirroring” or “attunement” or “validating.” If you don’t provide this function, your friend might feel you are disinterested, checked out, or simply don’t care.
3. It’s better to show up some than not at all. Many people will avoid sending an old friend a text because they don’t think they have time to engage in a long text exchange or know what to say. Stop it! Send that person a text anyway. Just try saying “You’ve been popping into my mind a lot lately and I just wanted to drop you a text to let you now I was thinking about you.” You can then go back and forth a few times and then tell the person you have to go.
I think these styles can also show up early in a new friendship. I can think of 2 fairly recently where I could see within 3 months it was not going to work - our styles did not match. It's hard to find friends the older I get but I don't want unnecessary drama from a friendship!
Agree . Try to remember good moments and live ,bcoz when u were in it , u enjoyed .
Friendships end sometimes because of a “natural course”. People change, sometimes completely unwillingly- events in life, emotional decay, distance and time... I currently have no friends now, but I had (at least I considered them such by then) and I learned from those moments
While you may end relationships fairly, you can’t predict the other party will be as reasonable. Sadly some people are emotionally immature no matter which angle you try to come from.
I might disagree bcoz it more depends on how relationship ends. If the end is based on betrayal than it casts shadow on all previous quality moments.
That’s really sound advice but applying it not so easy - have to give it time & the damage doesn’t always allow for that. Having 99% positive doesn’t and cannot always make up for the 1% negative.
I’d argue it’s more about the substance rather than the amount of time, but I don’t think that’s what the article is talking about anyway
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Facts ✨
its ... complicated.
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