Logging Industry Announces That They Just Can’t Fucking Get Enough Of Logs

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 23 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 12%
  • Publisher: 51%

United States Headlines News

United States Latest News,United States Headlines

GRAHAM, WA—In a feverish statement that captured their excitement and adoration, the nation’s logging industry announced Thursday that they “just can’t fucking get enough” of logs. “We stand before you today to let it be known that we love logs. We love them deeply and completely. We love stacking logs, chopping logs,…

GRAHAM, WA—In a feverish statement that captured their excitement and adoration, the nation’s logging industry announced Thursday that they “just can’t fucking get enough” of logs. “We stand before you today to let it be known that we love logs. We love them deeply and completely.

A list of our interests starts and ends with the word ‘logs.’ We wake up each morning champing at the bit to chop more logs, and every second we’re not spending in a lumberyard, a forest, or the woods is a second wasted. We love how logs smell, we love how they feel, we love their shape, and we just can’t contain ourselves when we’re moving a log around with a logging crane. Logs in the morning, logs at night, and in between? Logs.

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.

get em before dey all are charcoal

Hahaha it's like, that's all they care about lol!

Big parsnips this year, huh.

It's log, it's log. It's big, it's heavy, it's wood. It's log, it's log. It's better than bad. It's good!

LOGS

It gives them good wood.

Funny nobody in the comments so far saw the word 'of'.

Big Pencils trending.

As a person that used to be a manager at a sawmill: Fuck logs.

Better than bad, it's good!

Stop those 'm.......ers' from destroying our forests

No one is planting them anymore 🙈

Those monsters. LumberTrading is this true?

the amazon rainforest has plenty

I have reported this post for using foul language. I would expect better from a news organization.

6:31 PM · 3 окт. 2021 г.·Sprout Social

Understandable

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in US

United States Latest News, United States Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

Natalie Morales Leaves NBC News for CBS’ ‘The Talk’Natalie Morales has proven herself a versatile anchor who logged time at “Today,” “Access Hollywood” and “Dateline” and still managed to find time to do daredevi…
Source: Variety - 🏆 108. / 63 Read more »

Please Do Not Put Tupac’s Hologram in the Super Bowl Halftime ShowThe announced hip-hop supergroup that will headline is already more than enough. Tupac’s hologram 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Source: Slate - 🏆 716. / 51 Read more »

‘How Do You Get Over Someone?’HolaPapi: 'Do you think you’ve ever gotten over anyone? Because I don’t think I have.' jpbrammer responds jpbrammer Ain't that the truth?!? nostalgia historical fantasy HistoricalRomance History jpbrammer There's never a 'getting over'. There's probably a 'moving on' although some of us convert the entire episode to poetry. Probably to keep part of it alive in the corner of the subconscious. jpbrammer Get under someone.
Source: NYMag - 🏆 111. / 63 Read more »

It’s Nearly Outdoor-Heater Season AgainTemperatures may be dropping, but that doesn’t mean you can’t stay warm outside.
Source: NYMag - 🏆 111. / 63 Read more »

Your Leo Monthly Horoscope for OctoberThe weather's getting colder, but your love life isn't.
Source: Cosmopolitan - 🏆 725. / 51 Read more »

The Looks This Brooklyn-Based Writer Is Shopping for FallWhy LaTonya Yvette loves getting dressed up every single day.
Source: ELLE Magazine (US) - 🏆 472. / 51 Read more »