BALTIMORE, MD—Noting an unfortunate lack of will power and determination, sources confirmed Monday that local familyhe Johnsons were so lazy that they had kept their daughter’s room exactly the way it was before she died. “It’s easy to procrastinate, and you can always get distracted by stuff like the memorial services and funeral arrangements, but at a certain point,
you have to just bite the bullet and check it off your to-do list,” said neighbor Francine Ito, confirming that the shiftless parents evidently couldn’t be bothered to even toss out the hair ties or theof water on the bedside table of their deceased daughter, Erica. “They could at least pick up some of the bath towels and dirty laundry.
It's a tribute you heartless elitists
At least put the guitar on a stand ffs
It would make a great media room for an awesome home theater setup..
The daughter was ridiculed as the 'neat freak' in the family.
I'll take the guitar and the rest on a gift certificate.
oh man... thats....
Where's the funny
I think the topic is so depressing that slapping “lazy” on it and all the characters in the story being sad is an uneven balance
thank you the onion i needed a good cry 😭
Wow you’re really plumbing the depths with this one. unfollowed
pick up the teddy BEAR!!!!
😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Jesus.
No. This one is cruel. You’re wrong for presenting this as satire. Something like this could send a grieving parent spiraling out of control. This is so very wrong. The perfect time to delete it from existence is now. Dick move.
I really like this one. Reminds me of 80s darkwave.
You’re supposed to be funny and ironic, and this is neither. Do better.
This was a joke in I’M GONNA GIT YOU SUCKA.
Did you steal this from the Babylon Bee ? Conservatives calling dead people lazy
my mom clean my bros room, so i guess not everyone does this
This isn't funny, dark humor or not.
There are just some places not worth going for a laugh….
That’s why you’re not winning nothing: you’re still believing these lies.
Everybody grab a chair
😅🤣
well that took one hell of a turn
Turn on the lights. It got really dark in here.
Wow - unfollowing The Onion.
They're going to be so happy with this, They can go in her room and enjoy their memories in her filthy pigsty.
This isn't funny, this is heartbreaking. (Yes, I know it's fiction.)
The sequel headline: “Woke Twitter User Thinks Their Opinion About Tasteless Joke Matters”
They are obeying their daughter's last wish. She also played that guitar 3 times, and got bored, her bf never did want Maggie to get good at Nothing!
Damn. Someone in the office is having a bad day and wants everyone to know it. Lol
Funny, stupid isn’t any good anymore because reality is funnier and stupider anymore. Give it up!
I'm going to call this one a weird swing and miss
But she knew where everything was.
Yikes.
Goddamn, guys
Ooof. The closer. ;) “Ito added that she supposed she shouldn’t judge since her own husband had been moldering in her basement for weeks.”
wow smh
Ewwwwww.
Onions are supposed to make you cry after all
I mean awful, but hilarious.
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Source: TMZ - 🏆 379. / 59 Read more »
Source: DEADLINE - 🏆 109. / 63 Read more »
Source: hellomag - 🏆 24. / 68 Read more »
Source: TODAYshow - 🏆 389. / 55 Read more »
Source: ABC - 🏆 471. / 51 Read more »
Source: hellomag - 🏆 24. / 68 Read more »