Is My Partner Bored by Me?

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How changing the way we listen in relationships can help renew our connection with our romantic partner

to. I can't count the number of couples I've seen with this issue — one partner feeling that the other is uninterested in them, and the other feeling exhausted by conversations.. Interpreting this information requires the cortex, the most energy-inefficient part of the brain. This requires a tremendous amount of processing power and burns out the listener.

using their limbic system as a"gatekeeper" to the rest of the brain. This is a more energy-efficient method of processing information: The limbic system is less complex and closer to the brainstem.listen to stories for the reason of syncing up their emotional experience and offering support , a hugely valuable process in any close relationship. In our culture, we don't all learn how to do this and so we end up with couples who devolve into conflict rather than connecting. One partner feels exhausted and the other unvalued.

These two questions can guide your listening if you're feeling bored or exhausted by your partner's stories:Just try to identify what they were feeling. If you're unsure, ask. This may be challenging at first. It's simple, but not necessarily easy if you're out of practice with your own emotional experience. Time to exercise your limbic system.Think about ways you can validate the decisions they made or emotions they felt.

 

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