President Franklin Roosevelt called comparison the “thief of joy,” but research from Tilburg University in the Netherlands suggests that in some contexts “benign envy,” as psychologists call it, can be a positive force. Another’s success can clarify your own goals, inspire you to act, remind you of what you are capable of accomplishing, or motivate you. For example, a runner may want to emulate the performance of a fellow runner who beats her by a tenth of a second.
Do a reality check: A Flinders University/University of Toronto study shows that when social images are viewed with the understanding that they don’t reflect reality and represent a fantasy, they have less of a negative effect and can even improve one’s mood. Say thank you: Expressing gratitude for what you have protects you from dwelling on what you don’t. It helps you see the big picture and defangs the paralysis that envy can bring. Remember, another person’s triumph is not taking away from what you are capable of.What can I learn from other people’s successes?
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