Illustration: Zohar Lazar This week, the Cut is exploring a scientific theory that suggests we have infinite emotions, so long as we can name them — and so we did, asking writers to identify new ways to feel.
Libido Snap [data-uri="www.thecut.com/_components/clay-subheader/instances/ck642weti005733y6ws0mkkus@published"] span.fancy-divider{display:none} The quick, vague flicker of arousal that you don’t share with your partner, because you don’t really feel like having to get naked and have sex. Something is alight. Alive. A tiny piece of me that was dormant a second ago is awake and alert.
Heartbreak Adrenaline The strange feats of strength that can be accomplished after a devastating breakup. Illustration: Zohar Lazar Moved a couch on your own somehow? Heartbreak adrenaline. Applied for and got ten different job offers? Hell, yes, you’re sad, and it’s giving you power. —E.Z. Laugh-Holed When you’re laughing so much with someone that it feels like some part of you dips briefly into another dimension. Afterward, it makes the concept of an afterlife or other-life seem conceivable because what was that? And how can I make it happen again? —E.Z.
Pearning Yearning for the pond. Each July, a very small group of friends and I spend seven days together on a remote, miles-long pond in Maine. To get there, you drive about two hours on the highway, then another hour on country roads, then 20 minutes down a dirt logging road, and then you catch a boat to this place — an old Maine fishing camp, though none of us fish. There’s no internet and no cell service there.
Bureaucracies are as clumsily constructed as the First Little Piggy’s house but as sturdy as his more patient brother’s. The richest among us can pay someone else to endure its indignities; the rest of us pay in time. Which is why indulging buralysis feels at first like a kind of victory. Bureaucracies want your time; what better way, then, to tell them “Fuck you” than to deliberately waste it? Alas, once you’ve wasted your time, the bureaucracy comes back around for your money.
Itchy Teeth The restless urge to explode your own life by doing something that can’t easily be undone, like getting married, moving, becoming pregnant, starting a fistfight. Lesser teeth-itchers: a dramatic haircut, a different job, a large tattoo. Illustration: Zohar Lazar —E.Z.
None.
78 Fellas, please, the ones I already have are enough.
It's funny when people who don't know the first thing about linguistic theory and philosophy find out about interiority
I spent longer than I’d like to admit reading this
Very accurate
I dunno. There's something awfully familiar about 'sex-poisoned'
Ability to claim rape? Someone get the antidote to this madnesss asap.
Good dick will imprison you 🤷🏻♀️
This is freaking genius and hilarious. Thank you.
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