I heard it said recently that connection is a bond that forms between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued.Am I the only one that thought this would come naturally in marriage? When Ben and I were married, I had a list of fears, but loss of connection was not in the top twenty. After all, I had “found him whom my soul loves” . As a twenty-one-year-old woman, I was so naïve and unknowingly selfish. I had never been forced to divide my time and attention with another person.
I was so wrong. Fast forward twenty years, we still struggle, even more so with four busy teenagers living under our roof. Don’t get me wrong. We love them all dearly. We feel like we have been blessed with wonderful kids, but they make us feel tired all the time—both physically and emotionally. Ben and I have been forced to adapt and to hunt for alternate ways to connect. While the following list is by no means exhaustive, here are a few practical things we are doing to foster a stronger connection. I’m being serious—every couple should spend time each year in counseling even if you don’t have a major storm developing. Counseling has forced us to go deeper into our communication patterns. For years, Ben and I have clung to the phrase “the conversation is the relationship.
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