In the Beforetime

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“Later that week, I would be driving through an autumn sunset, calling my son’s number, reaching the voice mail every time,” Yiyun Li writes. “I could sense in my bones that the worst had happened, yet a road trip allowed time and space for disbelief.”

Two trips, two poets, two permanent farewells: this is one way of framing a particular week in my life. It was September, 2017, which, seen from 2022, could nearly be called the good old days. Yet so rarely do we look at the present, innocent of fresh disaster, as a rosy beforetime: we live in the aftertime of events, some more catastrophic than others.

The Larkin exhibition was in the university library at Hull, where he’d served as a librarian. It displayed hundreds of personal items: his collection of ties; letters to his mother, neatly stacked in a glass case, their contents protected from voyeuristic eyes; a minute Hitler figurine, which had belonged to Larkin’s father; the hard covers and spines of Larkin’s diaries, among them one decorated with collages of scantily dressed women cut out of magazines .

A road trip by car has some advantages: flexibility ; alternative routes to bypass traffic ; a secluded space, where one can despair and hope, free from the world’s gaze. A train, on the other hand, makes a public stage for private woes. I had booked a seat in the quiet carriage for my trip to Hull. When the train left King’s Cross, the only other travellers were a pair of parents and their teen-age children, a boy and a girl.

 

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I read and reread and reread this last night. So beautiful, so powerful, and each time it broke my heart more.

Tell me about it…. I mean how much more will the world tolerate of this… Seriously not sure who these people in this region trying to trick… They have been the cause of all these disturbances around since right after the last General Elections in 2018... 4 YEARS!!

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