I really should have been prepared for it, but somehow the moment still blindsided me. Perhaps it was because my brother’s funeral had ended only 30 minutes prior and I was standing, massively pregnant and completely exhausted, at his wake. I hadn’t yet processed it–still haven’t–how a relatively young and healthy man just drops dead. I was still numb when the family friend approached me with the requisite platitudes and hug.
Should I show her the myriad emails in which he called me an evil bitch, told me I was going to hell, strongly implied that my mother knew I never loved her for any number of slights against him, real or perceived?to all of his children behind closed doors for our entire lives, and that the brother he now so publicly mourned had borne the brunt of it?
More than ten years ago, I decided to start keeping my distance from my father. It was not a decision I came to lightly, but one that became necessary for my mental health. My father exhibits all of the traits of narcissistic personality disorder . Rumor has it he may even have been officially diagnosed with it, but refuses to believe that .
“He never got over your mother’s death.” Nope, he didn’t. I haven’t either, but I somehow cope without verbally abusing people.
What? Lol
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