found that the majority of LGBTQ youth in schools reported experiencing bullying.
During that same retreat, I went before my pastor as someone who wished to be saved. My camp counselor prayed for the Lord to bring me salvation, and I said my ownMy pastor says that, to be saved, I have to give up everything to you. And I do. Please, God. Please, fix me. God, I am sorry. I don’t want to be gay anymore. Please, God, if you love me, make me straight again. Make me good again.Maybe God just didn’t love me enoughBut away from church, I realized my sexuality didn’t make me a sinner.
Hope was the tallest girl in our grade. She had swaying red braids that reached her lower back. She liked to draw and her voice, like her smile and her laugh, was soft. I liked her immediately, until she told me she liked girls. But she wasn’t ashamed of it. To my shock, she was proud of who she was. She read books with same sex couples, wore shiny rainbow pins, and attended our school’s GSA every Monday. I was in complete awe of her and her audacious liberation. The more time I spent with Hope, the more normalized the concept of my identity became. I began attending my school’s Gay Straight Alliance and building the community I never had at my church.
I am not sorry for anything except for believing, for a moment, that I had to change any ounce of my sexuality to be loved.
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