I Was A Gay Boy Who Tried To Kill Myself. Now I Know It Wasn't My Fault.

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'For a long time, I thought I was the problem. I now know the problem was never me.'

My own experience bears this out. My home life growing up was challenging in many respects. But so were experiences outside the home that made me ashamed to be gay. Some of my earliest memories involved church leaders preaching that homosexuality was immoral, an abomination, that God did not love gay people. How was it possible for anyone to love me if an “all-loving” God could not?Matthew Shepard

was singled out for being gay, beaten, tied to a fence, and left to die. As a 15-year-old, I realized I wasn’t just unlovable; I was expendable. God wasn’t the only one who hated me. I would carry this shame for decades., a third of LGBTQ+ young people reported being bullied on school property.

Anti-LGBTQ+ policies and unaccepting environments affect our biology early on, changes that are only exacerbated when we are confronted with more hate and intolerance as adults. The science behind how heterosexist and transphobic environments in early life might affect adult health is now becoming clear. Research suggests it may follow a similar neurobiological pathway as exposure to ACEs.

 

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