I Think My Husband Might Be Cheating On Me… With Me

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Dear How to Do It: He feels like he’s found a solution to our unequal sex drives.

We have two paragraphs and then in the third we get to, ”Is my husband cheating on me with me?” And it’s like a record scratch. What? I didn’t know that it was leading up to that.Oh, I loved this one. If this was a literary experiment designed to give us a puzzle and also impress us and readers, bravo. I quite loved the turn of phrase, “Is my husband cheating on me with me?” You know I am a person with a representation of my own vulva out in the world. Several thousand representations, really.

Because it’s a losing game anyway. It’s a fool’s errand to say, “You can’t think about that.” Because then all the other person has to do is just not tell you or lie to you: “OK, I’m not thinking about that.” You’re not going to get in somebody’s head and legislate that. You’re just going to have to deal with the fact that people think things that maybe don’t jive with the way that you think.Yes.

A little bit of compassion should be extended to understand that, again, the thoughts are going to arise and what do you do with them? Well, here’s a thing. Given all of the alternatives, this kind of fantasy play seems the least hurtful. It’s just about managing that.

 

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