I needed to heal my relationship with my mother before I could become a mom myself

My mother was a revolutionary. She lived her life absolutely authentically, expressing exactly who she was and exactly how she felt—even in moments that society deemed “inappropriate.

I knew, before I became a mother, it was important—vital, even—for me to find that place of Indigenous love within myself. I made the commitment to heal my relationship with my mother so that we could end this cycle of discord and abuse. I needed to ensure that my future children would have the opportunity to grow in a space of this Indigenous love, and to know that Indigenous kinship practices are the answer to healing our families.

Over the next year, our relations fell silent. We both sought help. We both prayed hard to our ancestors, the ones who left before us, to Gitchi Manitou, the Great Creator. We both healed. And the most powerful thing about it was, we didn’t know that we were both doing it at the same time. Then everything shifted. One evening when I called her, she told me she had a really bad migraine and needed help. I knew it was something more. My anxiety peaked; I called my uncle. He rushed her to the small local hospital, and they airlifted her to Thunder Bay.She had an aneurysm that erupted. She was brain dead and on life support by the time we arrived.

I remembered my mama’s biggest life lessons. She showed me the repercussions that can happen if you don’t work on your issues. She showed me that, even though we lived in poverty, you could still make a day of fun for your children. She showed me that sobriety is the first step in knowing who you are. She showed me that it is a privilege to practice ancestral teachings, traditions and protocols with our children as an Indigenous woman and mother.

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