Moms shoulder way more than their fair share of the mental and emotional load of motherhood, just to be told, once a year, that they are “supermom.”I was going through my drawer one morning, and I came across an old Mother’s Day card decorated in bright colors and written in obnoxiously bold font, that screamed: “YOU ARE SUPERMOM!” Surely the card was written with the intent of making moms feel loved and appreciated, but I felt neither of those things. Instead, I felt a wave of anger.
What I’ve come to recognize, both from my own experience as a mom to three and from my thousands of hours doing therapy with moms, is that the work of motherhood is often quite simply invisible. The irony of playing supermom is that after a while, if we are unable to magically do all of the things, and we can’t find the time for “self-care,” it becomes supermom’s fault. We’re called lazy, or told to outsource , and asked to magically find the time to pay more attention to ourselves so we don’t lose our youth or sexual appeal.
Through reading articles, looking at the research, talking to women in and out of the therapy room, and taking a wide lens view of the social and cultural systems that led us to see mothers as superhuman, I came to question so much of what we are trained to pathologize in the field of psychology.
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