When I started using a cane some of the time, I also thought that I might need to use a wheelchair or walker part-time, too. That turned out not to be the case, but I still remember the fear I felt when I was first telling my friends about my mobility aids.
Deep friendships require trust and open communication, even when it’s difficult. I’ve had to navigate some hard conversations with my friends over the years, not just about disability and ableism, but also about grief,, racism, acephobia, and socioeconomic status. A part of being human and a good friend is understanding where my friends are coming from, even if it differs from my experience, and trusting them to do the same for me.
The most beautiful thing to come from my cross-disability friendships is the knowledge that my friends care for me and are actively thinking about me, which might look like a friend offering to drive into the city because they know that will be hard for me to do, or taking breaks with me at a concert to sit down when I get tired.
Keah Brown says that this level of honesty with her friends has “made our friendships that much stronger and brought us that much closer because now we feel like we can really be ourselves. And isn’t that what everybody else is chasing in the world: places and people where we can just be our full selves without apology?”is a program manager at We Need Diverse Books and an affiliated faculty member at Emerson College.