I Live with My Partner, But We Don’t Sleep in the Same Bed

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Telling your partner to GTFO of your bed might actually be a good thing in the long run

The pullout sofa was pricey. Crafted with no-sag springs, “ultra-cell” foam cushions and a wooden frame, the stone gray couch in the upscale furniture store looked like it belonged in a yuppie’s apartment next to a stack of New Yorkers. While I was impressed by the sleek style , I only had one question: how comfortable is it to sleep on?

Sleep stigma may be keeping you up at night According to a study from Ryerson University’s Sleep and Depression Laboratory, 30 to 40 percent of Canadian couples sleep in separate beds. In the U.S., the stats are similar: nearly one in four American couples sleep in different rooms or beds, says a recent National Sleep Foundation survey.

Troxel points to a number of studies that show when people sleep together, they experience fragmented sleep and wake up more frequently. “However, if you ask the same people, ‘Do you sleep better with a partner or alone?’ They’ll often say they prefer to sleep with a partner,” she says. “There’s this disjunct between that need for closeness at night versus objective disturbances.”

Not only do Nicole and her husband both get their eight hours of sleep this way, she says their arrangement has actually improved their relationship since they are kinder to one another after waking up feeling refreshed. “You fight when you’re both sleep-deprived and blame each other,” she says.

 

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