My partner and I have been together for seven years and our sex life has always been contentious. I have more of a sex drive and she has less. She is my first serious partner. Before being with her, I was exploring my interest in BDSM, however, we have not explored this in our relationship as my partner is more interested in passionate connected romantic sex. She has recently encountered some health problems and we have felt very disconnected.
Is there maybe something your partner is missing, or feels is necessary for sex, that she isn’t getting? Are you maybe in less of a good place in your relationship than you thought? I’m hoping that there’s something solvable under your partner’s outsized reaction to the news that you don’t inherently get off on giving pleasure.
Your wife also might be frustrated because it feels to her as though she’s being asked to perform an interest that she does not have at that moment. Once that kind of frustration has been allowed to fester, it can be difficult to get back to connecting at all.Regardless, you and your wife have different ideas about the point of sex. You have emotional and intimacy needs, where she seems to see sex as a physical act more than anything else. Ask her whether that is accurate.
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