I Grew Up With Toxic Parents, And It Still Hurts

I switch back and forth between anger and gratitude. I have so much to be grateful for, but I can’t ignore the anger.mother who doesn’t have the capacity to truly love me

She did all she could, as she too was set up for failure. My father ran, but my mother did sacrifice. Please understand that I know she did. As a mother now, with much more than she had, I get it. I really do. It breaks my heart to think about how much she sacrificed. But a lot of people sacrifice. And a lot of people don’t have toxic relationships with their children. They don’t take away their love as fast as they give it.

. But I now know I am not my mother. I love my children unconditionally, and when I make mistakes, when I am not the mother they deserve, I apologize. I talk to my husband and my therapist to vent and figure how to be better. I show my children the kind of love and affection I never received. And I am beyond grateful to them for slowly helping me heal. My gratitude goes beyond their health and happiness; I am so grateful that I can raise children who will not carry the kind of pain I have.

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