I F*cking Hate Camping (And I Don't Care What You Say, It Still Sucks)

When I was a kid, I loved reading about Laura Ingalls Wilder and her adventures on the prairies of Minnesota. I devoured the books and delighted in watching the television series that depicted a cute, bucktoothed girl in braids skipping through life on the banks of Plum Creek. I wanted to be the girl who went fishing after school, and I envied their covered-wagon mode of transportation.

But here’s the thing: Watching a television series about a pioneer girl is one thing. Actually living like one in the modern day, what with air conditioning and indoor plumbing being an actual thing now, is ridiculous.Frankly, I’m not sure why anyone would choose to pack up their possessions, drive to the woods, unpack it all, and live like a bunch of Neanderthals for three days.

I think the reason my family loves camping is because I do all of the work and preparations to make sure we don’t have to eat goji berries and tree bark when we are living with Yogi Bear and Boo-Boo in the woods. They have no idea how much actual planning goes into packing a portable household and dragging it to the middle of nowhere.

Hats off to those who can go camping and actually enjoy it. I am simply not that person, and I make no apologies for disliking hair that smells like a campfire for a week and not wanting to eat food prepared with tiny grills and utensils that fit in my pocket. And unless it involves a tricked-out, rock star style diesel bus parked next to a Starbucks and with adequate Wi-Fi,

I like camping only if there is air conditioning and room service.

100% agree! 😃👍

Agreed. If I wanted to stay up all night in awkward positions, I’d just let my kids sleep in my bed. At least then they wouldn’t be complaining.

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