I Don’t Love Spending Time With My Mom, But My Kids Do — Here’s How I Cope

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I have no significant reason to keep them from her other than I can’t stand to be around her for too long — and that isn't fair to them.

When they got older I suggested they start doing this. My kids are teenagers, and while they know my mother annoys me, they don’t know the extent of it.

Video chatting is a great way for them to bond and talk and I don’t even have to hear her voice. I suggest this if my mother says she’s missing her grandkids, because it gives her a quick fix and my kids enjoy it.If I know I am going to be with my mother for a longer period of time, I don’t feel the need to be around her every second. I go for a walk, go in the other room to read, or do housework. I already know I can only handle her in small doses, and I prepare for that ahead of time.

I often do this beforehand. For example, if my mother is coming to our home, or we are going there, I tell her and my kids we have until a certain time. This is obviously easier if we are going to her house, because I have control over when we leave. I used to come up with excuses to make this easier. I’d say I had an appointment or I had to work. These days I feel comfortable simply telling her no — but if you aren’t at that point yet, coming up with something else in your schedule is a lot easier and can get you started on setting those limits.

 

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