I Don’t Believe in Soulmates, But I Sort of Have One

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A dark side to believing in soulmates is that it elevates the romantic relationship above all other aspects of life

Photo: Frédéric Soltan/Corbis via Getty Images It seems embarrassing to believe in soulmates these days — it’s like admitting I still believe in the Tooth Fairy, or Santa Claus — but I still kind of do. Or I did. I even thought I had one. I told him so at one point, and he shook his head and seemed amused.

Sometimes I wonder what life would look like if we thought of romantic relationships as more like jobs than as spiritual fulfillment : Some are good, some are bad, and although you should stick with one you like, there are always more out there. In a relatively secular life, the idea that a particular type of relationship can be touched with magic, via soulmate-ship, is an acceptable modern way to have faith in something beyond rationality.

And then there are the Disney-fied fairy-tales in which a man and woman live happily ever after, although as a recent Aeon piece notes, we may be moving away from idealized romantic love there: “Today, Disney no longer expects us to expect a knight in shining armour, but rather to forgive our siblings and make peace with our parents.”

 

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Yet still,, 💀

bprerna Let me put it this way. Western civilization is not the gold standard in marriage, and life partnerships. The basic premise that LOVE keeps people together is a fairy tale. Its DUTY, RESPONSIBILITY, COMMITMENT that keeps people together. Look East for answers.

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