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How we said 'no' to the wedding industrial complex

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The average U.S. wedding costs $35,000. That's why Abbigail Shirk and her partner are going smaller and simpler: 30 guests, a consignment wedding dress and no engagement ring. We're saying no to some 'extras' now, so we can yes to buying a home and starting a family sooner rather than later, she writes.

I am not engaged. But I am getting married this weekend. It came as a surprise to nearly everyone that we are getting married without an elaborate proposal, diamond ring, bridesmaids and groomsmen.

I also wanted to avoid the traditional wedding culture I lived through in my 20s, when my life felt like a montage of romantic comedy scenes. As a college junior, I was the maid of honor who forgot to write her wedding toast. After my law school graduation, I was a bridesmaid in so many weddings it felt like a part-time job.

Finding an affordable place to get married has been the hardest part of our wedding planning. My mother and her mother were married in the same church in Maine, where they simply paid the organist and tipped the pastor. Since we were planning a spiritual — but not religious — wedding, we looked for secular spaces that offered beauty and meaning.for $200, we were thrilled. The catch? They could only accommodate 12 people on a Monday.

 

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