How to Know Which Friends to Keep

At some point, it pays to stop and discern who we really want in our life.

8/13/2020 4:01:00 PM

Why it pays to be discerning about the friends we choose to add to our lives, writes DrMarisaGFranco

At some point, it pays to stop and discern who we really want in our life.

finds that while they prune their friendships, they are more satisfied with the friendships they keep.Older people’s friendships show us that when it comes to friendship, more isn’t always better. We canbe discerningabout the friends we add to our lives, by asking ourselves questions about our resources like:

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Do I have enough time for new friends amidst my other relationships and/or obligations?How overwhelmed am I by maintaining the friendships I already have?Even if we do have enough time for friends, we may also trim friendships because we lack compatibility, or our friendships aren't necessarily healthy. We might ask ourselves questions to assess whether a friendship is working for us. These questions might include:

Do I feel like they are rooting for my success?Do I like who I am around them?Do I feel like myself around them?Do I typically feel energized or deflated by their company?Do they show an interest in me?Time and compatibility are two major drivers that help us figure out which friends to keep in our lives. That means, at certain times in our life, when we have less time (e.

., when we just had kids), we may be more frugal with our friendships. That's okay. The important thing is that we arediscerningrather than passive with who we keep in our life, assessing our friendships to figure out where our needs lie and navigating our friendships accordingly.

Read more: Psychology Today »

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