How To Give Advice: Less Fixing, More Listening

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Here are some tips for giving good advice, including: 👂 You don't have to fix the problem 👂 Listening goes a long way 👂 Body language matters 👂 Know when the questions are more than you can handle

go-to experts for advice for decades. She listened to me when we were kids in Maryland. Now in her 40s, she's a high school guidance counselor — so she's still advising young people.

"If you look like you're tense or you're distracted, the person might not open up to you as much as you would want them to," she says.Giving advice isn't the same as giving someone an order. That's somethinglearned on the job. He's the executive director and chaplain for the Islamic Center at New York University, which means counseling and advising are big parts of his job.

"A lot of it is to unload things that they have going on inside," Latif says."And you creating a space where they can self express freely.". A friend's priorities might not match your own, but that doesn't mean they're wrong. Don't assume their choices are any kind of statement about your own values and decisions.

Latif also says he knows when to refer out. He has mental health professionals on staff who can help people with problems outside of his expertise.

 

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I guess I'm passive-aggressive -- I'd reply at 7am or as soon as I get up.

Maybe I should say I am not in the right headspace right now? Is that what you are saying, NPR?

Pffft. It’s ok to have your phone on silent so you don’t hear it in the fist place.

Unless it's life threatening

What about an 8 pm text?

I don't have friends, ya idiots.

Pssssssh im that friend that gets the 4am/5am phonecall... I tend to ask wtf are they calling me... they usually say its because im the only other insomniac they know.

I use the do not disturb feature in my phone. I won’t know.....

I am but I also have do not disturb.

If so, my phone is on silent and won’t see it until I peacefully wake up. 🤷‍♀️

If you want to avoid being blamed later, just listening is the only way to help.

Talking about your problems without a desire for solutions is called RANTING. Asking for ADVICE pre-supposes that you’re seeking solutions, aka advice.

The difference between a good coach & an OUTSTANDING one... When the flock is compelled to their wisdom...

Then ask them to liste don’t ask them for answers? Really people is this where we are at. Instead of talking direct we should instead learn how to decode?

Then they should just ask for you to listen to them...not for advice.

If you're complaining about something and you don't actually want it fixed, then stop complaining

How about this: if you don’t want advice, don’t ask for it and have enough self respect to mean what you say

ChialtasDanette lol this was you yesterday with me.

Then people should be self aware and honest enough to ASK TO BE HEARD instead of asking for advice.

Mostly, I say.

People who are asked for advice, are tried of those people not actually wanting advice.

These people are known as askholes.

Sounds like a girl wrote this about a guy.

'Advice is the worst vice' … well, at least, for heaven's sake, never, ever enable someone to do the wrong thing Wait...is this advice? Forget it...

Very roughly, my female friends need empathy and to be heard, the guys expect to work problems out and get solutions. This is what a lot of guys don't get about their girlfriends.

How about: Do you want my advice or are you venting? Often all we want is venting and advice isn’t welcome.

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