meaning you have to name the challenge or problem you’re up against. The B calls you to look at what negativethat belief is having on your behavior and emotions, particularly how you feel about yourself. When you get to D, that’s the point where you start toorwhich signals the introduction of a new line of thinking about the original event or challenge.
In those cases, you’ll need to draw on resilience. “Being resilient might also mean having an acceptance of the things that are beyond your control or beyond your ability to influence,” Dr. Tedeschi says. “Instead, look for another course of action that relieves some of the unpleasant emotions of the situation, especially in the case of loss.”
“If we can do that with people who are really good listeners and reflect together with us on how to figure all this stuff out,” he says, “we can actually improve our coping mechanisms, learn important lessons about ourselves, or manage to.” Getting something like that out of the situation will obviously continue to help us as we move forward, but it might also make things feel less hopeless currently.
But if you don’t already have those close relationships, there are ways to build them. Perhaps you have people in your circle of friends you’d like to be closer with. In that case, you could try starting a support group with them—and you might be surprised at how many people are interested.
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