. "Say, I'd love to join you, but I'm not the wine lover you are so I'm going to order separately," Gottsman suggests. No, it isn't the most comfortable conversation to have, but you won't be comfortable "stewing about the bill each time you go out, or building resentment towards your friends," she points out.
If you don't take this pre-restaurant proactive route, however, you still have options. When you sit down, consider letting your friends know you're on a tight budget, suggests Annette Harris, etiquette expert and founder ofYou can also flag your server and say, "Please put my order on a separate check," Gottsman says. "The key here is to be preemptive—speaking directly to the server—and not making a big issue of your request.
Lastly, of course, you have an option to be a straight-shooter. Say something like, "Guys, I'm going to take care of my own tab. I don't have the same appreciation—or budget!—for your expensive bottles of wine," a short, to-the-point, and even light-hearted explanation your friends will understand, Gottsman says. "Some may follow your lead next time," she adds.
If you somehow get saddled into splitting the bill, there's not much you can do. "As the saying goes, you're a day late and a dollar [or way more] short," Harris says. "Trying to rectify the situation afterward is not a reasonable or realistic option." Think about it: do youwant to track down six dinner guests for the $1.
Finally, remember: "There is nothing wrong with asking for your own check—as long as you do it upfront," instructs Gottsman. "When friends go out to dinner or drinks, unless you are clear, it's a given that most people will split the check and toss in their credit card at the end—which is perfectly fine, unless you're uncomfortable. Then it's up to you to take action in advance.
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