How to avoid maskless people in airplanes: 'Wanna hear about my testicle-tanning regimen?'

So people are going to make their own decisions, and I respect that. But I have come up with a few tips for those of us who favor masks. Using any of these techniques will likely create a safe “social-distancing zone” around you and encourage mask-free travelers to keep away.You’re welcome, America.

1) If an unmasked traveler is about to take the seat next to you, greet your new seatmate like this: “Hi, my name is Rex Huppke. I see we’ll be seated next to each other on today’s flight and you’ve decided not to wear a face mask. I’m looking forward to spending the next two hours talking to you loudly about my testicle-tanning regimen! I heard about it from Tucker Carlson, and I have to say, my testosterone levels have never been higher.

2) If the first item doesn’t work for you because you have scruples or don’t have testicles, tanned or otherwise, try a different but equally effective greeting: “Hey, great to see you.

4) If you spot a string of unmasked people walking down the aisle toward your row of seats, immediately remove your shoes and socks and take out a foot file. As they get closer, commence Operation Pedicure.6) Politely ask any unmasked people near you if they would mind wearing a face mask, at least until the flight is airborne and the filtration system is running at full speed.

RexHuppke usatodayopinion You guys are some full of s&$! One person on my flight of 200 had their mask on. Why do you think your paper will be extinct in 5 years

RexHuppke usatodayopinion They're losing their last bastion of delusion, it must be painful.

RexHuppke usatodayopinion False

RexHuppke usatodayopinion Lol. Ya ok

RexHuppke usatodayopinion Then he's an idiot & in denial & hasnt see all the mask incidents over the past year. CLEARLY people do NOT want them. IT IS NOT MY, NOR ANYONES RESPONSIBILITY TO PROTECT YOUR HEALTH. ONLY - YOU - ARE RESPONSIBILE, SO - YOU - wear the mask, your choice.

RexHuppke usatodayopinion If a person is that worried about possibly getting sick then they should stay locked up in their homes and pray to Fauci.

RexHuppke usatodayopinion B/S they do. Even if it were true, which it’s not, they can wear them. Case closed.

RexHuppke usatodayopinion It polling at 72% in favor of lifting mask mandates.

RexHuppke usatodayopinion Do people get paid for writing this stuff?

RexHuppke usatodayopinion Total BS

RexHuppke usatodayopinion Most?

RexHuppke usatodayopinion No they don't.

RexHuppke usatodayopinion It's a good thing we have ol' Rex around to tell us what 'most Americans' want!

RexHuppke usatodayopinion

RexHuppke usatodayopinion Most Americans are DONE with masks.

RexHuppke usatodayopinion If most Americans want to wear masks on planes, there is nothing stopping them from wearing one.

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