Do you ever wonder why you think and act the way you do? We’re all born with a particular temperament, genetics, and neurological wiring. And, of course, external factors, such as culture and socioeconomic status, have a tremendous influence on us. Another factor that shapes us is the people we’ve interacted with throughout our lives.
Relationships affect how you relate to yourself, others, and the world around you. Childhood experiences in your nuclear and extended family are often foundational. And more recent experiences with them often continue to be influential. Some other people who can have a lasting impact are peers, other adults, or even strangers. For any relationship, the influence can be positive, negative, or some combination of the two.
To help you reflect on your relationships, get out some paper and a pencil to complete this exercise:For instance, you might decide on categories, such as immediate family, extended family, mentors, adult friends, childhood peers , lovers, fictional figures , historical people, religious figures, or even acquaintances or strangers.Don’t worry about whether they have had “enough” of an influence. Think of this as more of an exercise in brainstorming.
As you reflect, you can gain perspective. Rather than mindlessly accepting your current perception of yourself -- in part, unconsciously living out the influence of others -- you can choose who you want to be. You might even decide to pick a new role model who exemplifies traits that you’d like to make your own. Then you can commit yourself to developing those qualities.
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